The Problem with Your Website…

It may be time for a redesign

As a business consultant for one of the nation’s leading web design companies I get the gracious opportunity to chat with the foundation of the American economy – the small business. If by some miraculous reason you have stumbled across this post, keep reading – this one’s going to be fun. I’d like to take this opportunity to share with you, in generalities, some of the conversations I have on a day-to-day basis with the small businesses of America.

Me: So Earl, I’m taking a look at your website and…. Um…. Well, I was curious to see if you have been keeping it up-to-date?
What I really mean: Earl, what were you thinking, man? This is awful. My Three-year-old could do better than that.

Earl: What do you mean?

Me: Did you do this yourself?
What I really mean: You’ve got to be kidding. Seriously, Earl – this is your business? I know you’re not making any money online…. And I know you’re about to tell me your customer’s don’t find you online.

Earl: I don’t need a new website. My customers don’t find me online (ha!).

Me: Let me be honest with you Earl. They are looking for you but they will never find you.
What I really mean: Duh. If this was my website, I wouldn’t even visit it.

Earl: My customer’s already know me (Generic statement #1)

Me: In order to capture the market share available online you not only need a strong presence but you need the right search engine optimization to be found.
What I really mean: Earl, You really think the whole world knows you? I don’t even know the name of my next-door neighbor.

Earl: I’ve got to go, I’m in a meeting (Generic statement #2, my personal favorite)

Me: I understand you’re busy, I’ll be brief.
What I really mean: We’ve been talking for 5 minutes. What type of meeting are you in that you can take a phone call? You think I’m reciting a script? Listen to yourself. Any more generic statements you would like throw this way?

Earl: I’m not interested (Jackpot! Generic statement #3 – is that the best you can do?)

Me: What is it you’re not interested in?
What I really mean: I’m not sure you are listening to one word I am saying.

Earl: I know you’re just doing your job but I can’t talk right now, I have a meeting in 5 minutes

Me: I understand. But….
What I really mean: Huh? I thought you were in a… Oh geez, I think you might be bothering me more than I’m bothering you. Touché sir – well done.

Earl: I can’t talk right now – I’ve gotta go, Mark

Me: Have a good day, my name is David by the way
Earl: Ok, Mark – Hanging up now

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One comment

  1. Tell the Truth! When I got to the bottom of this I was hoping there was more to read because it put a smile on my face. I like your sense of humor and your style. Everyone in sales knows how annoying it is to have the person on the phone care more about not hurting your feelings than the real issue at hand…”You need whatever it is I am calling you about…period”…Thanks for the mid-day laughter….keep em coming…..

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