Asshole vs Dicks
Who is an asshole? I am an asshole for taking the time to write such a ridiculous article.
To make things easy:
Asshole: Someone who doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.
Dick: knows what’s going on but doesn’t give a fuck.
Women are the number one offenders of the misuse of the words asshole and dick. Let’s get into a few examples ladies.
At the club:
Your boyfriend dances with himself at a nightclub. He’s an asshole
Your boyfriend dances with another chick at the night club, he’s a dick.
In the car:
Someone has a turn signal on but isn’t turning. They are an asshole.
Someone cuts you off in their car. They are a dick.
A car is driving slowly in the fast lane. This is an asshole.
Someone parks in handicapped parking but isn’t handicapped. This is a dick move.
At the store:
Someone holds up the line because they have to go get something they forgot. Asshole
Someone holds up the line because they can’t decide if they want Orbitz or Stride gum. Asshole
*Someone who holds up any line is generally an asshole.
On a date:
The guy doesn’t open the door, pull out your chair…etc. Asshole
They guy has money but pretends he left his wallet at home. Dick
Guy talks about his ex-girlfriends. Asshole
Guy shows pictures of his ex-girlfriend. Dick
You hit on the Human Resources lady. You’re an asshole
You pull out your cock on a coworker’s keyboard. You’re a dick
You come into work on your day off. Asshole
You give your boss a Starbucks gift card with $0 on it. Hilarious dick move
Keep in mind that women can be assholes too. Now we are going to test the knowledge you have acquired.
1) You name your kid North West. Asshole or dick?
- This is a trick question. This can go either way
2) Taking the change out of a homeless person’s cup. Asshole or dick?
- This is a dick move
3) You don’t know the difference between your and you’re. Asshole or dick?
- This makes you an asshole
Here are some examples of legendary assholes:
Family Guy Asshole
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Assholes
Blue Mountain State Assholes
You are an asshole if you read this whole thing.